when u really like someone for the first time in your life, life sort of becomes different.... hard and tough would be my favorite words to describe it as of right now. when the guy u like has absolutely no clue it just becomes....well harder and tougher. to be honest... i hate it.
u start realizing the actual meaning of the phrase "its complicated" when you are in this particular situation. u keep battling with yourself...conflicting thoughts...are some of the basic symptoms. each word exchanged in a conversation between u n 'him' is repeatedly passed through a long uncertain analysis which yield numerous and yet more uncertain scenarios which are contradictory to each other...but at the same time could be completely true. you cease to be a relationship expert who used to hand out highly appreciated advice to your poor friends clinging on to u as if u are the last messiah on the planet as far their relationship troubles are concerned... instead u become one of them yourself...only you dont have anyone to consult because you think the case is hopeless and a waste of time.
i wish like every other girl with a 'problem'...there was some universal code that one could refer to... some kind of a rule book that offered a solution to every conceivable type of guy and how to go about dealing with them. it could be like a high school biology book where each type of a guy could be listed as a specimen and their respective characteristics could be listed alphabetically or any order to make things easy. anything would work right now for me...only if it made life as it is easy.
lets name the guy the cupid decided to make me fall in love with...well ted..( i am in a 'how i met your mother' phase). the good thing in this cliched situation is he knows i exist... but apart from a few brief friendly conversations with highly irregular intervals... i dont have a even a slight clue about his immediate whereabouts. it doesnt help at all when ted does an absolute freaking job of ignoring my last few tries at another conversation. i have my dignity...and i admit my fair share of ego which doesnt help at all... especially when i have been completely careful in not revealing my 'feelings' for him. i dont really like the prospect of being a stalker...ever...so in a few choice words... I am stuck..!
i cant go anywhere from here. its like that adventure or strategy game where you really need the next clue or you cant move to the next level at all. i have been stuck at this level for quite some time...and i cant even quit the game...because...i am sorry for writing another cliche...but love really doesnt have any exits...
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