anoder book, anoder lyf

i just finished another novel or more simply put, a book.. and since i am usually someone with an impossible amount of daydreams, i just tried to absorb those fading ...erm... i donno what 2 term them, its something lyk wen u eat something, their is an aftertaste that lingers... i hop u get d idea...

anyways, i realized with those afterthoughts, that i was just over with a life that i never knew i had, just by reading a book ...and finishing it...

if its a proper novel, u just discard your own life for the moment, and take on a whole new different life of the character u are reading about, be it a self-doubting virtuous detective with a melodramatic hunger for catching criminals, or a hesitant writer who has yet to encounter fame and money in his profession...or even the classic damsel in distress who cant resist the physical charms of a prince of her dreams....not that i would understand y she needs to resist them in d first place!

after each novel, i have had the opportunity to live as somebody entirely different in terms of personality, appearance....even gender.... to somebody who was uncannily familiar 2 who i was...
i took on der drinking problems, der fondness of apple pies, der dislike of body hair....
and all dis never occurred to me, even when one of those lives became over..


erm... i guess i have gone to the dark syd after al.. or its just me being crazy... gone bonkers...
but alas...now that i have thought of it..... still crazy i guess..!

out of nowhere blues...

Sometimes...when nothing has gone wrong...in fact everything has gone perfect ..and is still in the same track of perfection... I dont know abt others but I definitly have gone through this strange phenomena where...for no reason ...I just start feelin low..

i mean its as if things just got rudely pushed off their track of perfection and sent tumbling downhill... and the worst part... you just dont understand wat was it that got u depressed in the first place...!!
its a bane for me... to not be able to explain to anybody... what do i tell them when i myself...have no logical conclusion to this sequence of events..

and once you are in that phase of the so called depression, you just start mentally accumulating your long forgotten baggage...from remarks or comments that you got a few minutes ago .. to... permanant oroblems you suffer from regarding other members of the human race...
Its as if all wounds....fresh or old hav been ripped apart all at one time... its the greatest mental discomfort of all times..

and when somehow u ride through this unexplained emotional event in ur life... u r at a loss still den... because u stil dont realise wat it was that set it off in the first place..!

Somehow...sometimes... a human mind can play tricks on itself... without ever letting it know wat the trick was...

The new student...

How do i begin this..?

I mean its the same feeling when u enter a class for the first time. It isnt the knowlege of being a new student which sends those jitters across ur spine but the moment, after all those days of sub-consciously waiting, when you enter that classroom for the first time....In that moment you know wat it feels to be excited, scared...apprehensive...curious.... all at the same time...
Its as if all those pent up emotions suddenly appeared out of nowhere and merged into a cold lump that went thru ur throat n fell in ur stomach... like a punch in ur guts...

But then come to think about it.....the emotions u go thru when u start ur own blog are not of the same measure as those... infact it feels more safe...
you can hide behind a display name... write or spin stories ...watever u want without having 2 go thru facin the prospect of having several pairs of eyes on u....
Everybodys got somthing to tell here...i m a lost cause in those teeming millions....

its much safer this way...
this blog myt b that old moth eaten blanket that i can bury my thoughts in ...n den either have them grow into little offshoots of new stories 2 come...or let them become the fleeting ghosts of the past experiences...

ironicaly...it all depends on me...the new student..